|Satsang –||Volume 4, Number 11: December 28, 2001|
Why Do You Accept "I"?
Pragati: When you said to me, "If the 'waker' is temporary and you're calling that I and then ask, Well, what should I do? - and that temporary I is not actually even there…" then that's a kind of ridiculous question to ask.
Swamiji: If that I is not there, then why do you feel that it is there?
Pragati: Because of the power of maayaa.
Swamiji: If, because of the power of maayaa, you feel the I is there, then maayaa is there. When maayaa is not there, why would you not be able to ask, "What should I do?" You answered, "Because of maayaa" - then maayaa is there.
Pragati: For you, it's not there. But for me…
Swamiji: Who says, "For you, it is not there"? Is it me who says this, or are you saying this? How do you know that it is not there for me?
Pragati: Because you're extremely liberated.
Swamiji: Who told you?
Pragati: I can see it.
Swamiji: If you can see it, then make it. You say, "You are liberated." Tomorrow you can say, "You are extremely not liberated."
Pragati: I would never say that, Swamiji.
Swamiji: Why? Why would you say that "You are extremely liberated"? You must think that the liberated state is very good and that I'll be very gratified that I am extremely liberated. But when you have already accepted that I is not there, then who bothers for this I, liberated or not? [laughter]
This is where the intellect functions. Now, function doesn't fall in any other category except that it functions - such as light functions. What is the function of light? That darkness is not there. What is there in this functioning? That darkness is absorbed. That means that darkness has not died, it is absorbed. But the functioning of the intellect is such that it says that darkness is not there and light is there; and when light is not there, the functioning of the intellect is that darkness is there. So if a human being has been fixed up and has an intellect, what do you expect of him? Sometimes the intellect says, "You are completely freed, liberated," and sometimes it must be knowing that I'm not completely liberated. If I'm liberated and the same I, then why is that I not liberated which is the same I in you? This explains to you as a person so that you can understand that there is something in the head which is called consciousness or intellect, which is creating trouble, or problems. If you have come to know this - that the intellect creates problems - then accept every problem, because it is there.
Pragati: But the thing is that I don't want to accept the problem state.
Swamiji: Yes. When you don't want to accept the problem state, then you should know why you say, "I am the problem"? Why do you say, "I am the intellect"? You are neither of them. From where will the problem come to that which is not body, not mind, not intellect? Acceptance. Why do you accept -"I am the intellect"? Why do you accept, "I am the mind"? Why do you accept, "I am the ego"? Why do you accept, "I am the English language"? Why do you accept, "I am Jarden"? Why do you accept, "I am a girl"? - if you want to be free from problems?
I asked, "Why do you want to be free from problems?" Know that problems are there because the body is there, the intellect is there. Then you said, "Well, I'm that enlightened that I really don't want to have problems." Then why do you not call yourself enlightened, rather than I? The enlightened state doesn't fall in the category of body, fingers, nose, eyes, or intellect. That's enlightenment. It's not the fourth, third, second, or first state, it is enlightenment, it is Awareness.
Pragati: That's great, Swamiji, because you've just pointed out the functioning which wants to figure everything out, yet you've said just that Awareness is always Awareness.
Swamiji: When you can understand this, what makes you not accept it? I already know that you as a human being with intellect are not going to accept it if I say that you are Awareness. So I never say you are Awareness. I say, "You are a girl. You must now be mature to get married. Its high time for you to have children. And they can look after a few horses there…" Why would you not hear this?
Pragati: I left that.
Swamiji: You left it. Why did you not leave other things which create problems?
Pragati: I'm trying to.
Swamiji: You are trying with what?
Pragati: With that which doesn't exist. [laughter]
Swamiji: It is for anybody to accept. First, it is to be heard, so you need a body with ears. Then you need a brain to wait and see whether you should accept it or not. Then, in a couple of years time, you reach the understanding that, "My goodness, without Awareness nothing can happen, so far as this body is concerned." This means that Awareness is the basis. Water cannot run in the river if the earth is not there, so it is not that water is important. We never see water running here, yet we say that water is important. You are supposed to use your intellect for everything that has been given to you to understand, step by step.
You should know that your body is essential for knowing this fact that you have a mind. Many people do not know that they have a mind. They only work with the body tool and never care that the mind is there. So it has become clear to you now that if the body is there, then the mind is there. If the mind is there, then the intellect is also there. And if the body, intellect, and mind are there, then the "I am" is also there to divide - body as conscious being, and body as insentient bones and skin, which are not able to say I. That which says I is consciousness. Consciousness is not seen as iron or stone are - maybe there is vaasanaa in them, with which they exist, but there is no such thing as they can think. So when you think, "I am," then you are supposed to have some word for this state. That has been called ego in English, and ahankaar in Hindi.
Now, if you have come to know ahankaar, form, then you have to know in which Space form is, because form is seen and known. There are two things: either you see the insentient form, bones and skin; or you conceive of a knowing form. In both these things, your Acquaintance is not working. Therefore, unless you unfold that which is Formless, how would you know I? You know form-I. That is what I say, and I ask you, and prove to you, that again and again you fall on your body and say I - "What can I do?" - which you ask because the body does. I is not supposed to do, because it is not there. But you do not leave your stand, and I am not expected to leave my stand, when I know that the I is not there….
If you say that this is a needle, you can use it, because you have accepted it and it has become your pukka gyan [mature knowledge]. If you have become pukka about Gyan, why would you worry about the body? You will use the body and will not worry about it. When the sun comes, the result will be the removal of darkness. When Gyan is practised on the level of ignorance, then the resultant sun will remove the darkness with which you identify that "I am the body never to die, never to fall sick. I am the body-eternal." This ignorance will be contradicted by Knowledge, and that is practice.
Her [Pragati's] question is about the I. Everybody has one question, and that is the medium of growth. Such as, my subject matter is salt. [laughter] When I say salt, you know what salt is. When I say salt, I mean Sap - life is the salt of a human being, or salt is the life of a human being. So if I don't get salt, how can I be a human being? [laughter] The difference is that human beings are formed reality. Their knowledge about a human being is form: the name is Shiv Nath, but the form is a bearded, tall, skinny fellow. These names have been given to you with a definite purpose that at least you can know the meaning of Gyaan - why do you say it is Reitman?…This is called the human incarnation: the ignorance of the Self is a man, and the knowledge of the Self is a guru. So if you are on a guru trip, you should accept it. That is where acceptance comes.…Your knowledge of I does not go. That is where the practice lies….I have not to teach you that you are a body. [laughter] If you have to practise "I am the Self," then do it - no one will say you have not included your body. Then say, "Well, I am the Self. I have come to know that I cannot be compared with anything. Therefore, it must be the Self.
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