|Satsang –||Volume 7, Number 14: October 30, 2004|
That Which Is Indescribable Is There in Meditation
We, as human beings with minds, are made as we are, with the help of descriptions. All that we have gone through is description, described by somebody else, such as our mommy, daddy, and all of our relations. So you can grasp this fact—it’s a very important point and will help you always—that through descriptions we have become knowledgeable and have become, individually, the kind of person that we are. So much has been described, and that description gave us the meaning, through words, and through experiences, so that we became this…That became our personality, which we can safely call mind, or man or woman, it doesn’t matter, but each one became this.
Nobody said to you, "My dear son, we, as parents, cannot tell you who you are, but we can tell you only that which we see you as. You are a small boy, little, tiny, not knowing this, not seeing this, not understanding much—you have to learn everything through our language and association. We cannot tell you who you are." The child has been the knowledge, and that knowledge appeared in the form of a boy. So, because of the freezing cold, the water appears to be a small piece of iceberg. Now, how should the iceberg be given this knowledge—that you are water. To the iceberg, the water is indescribable, other than to say you will find out your source when you’ll be melted, when you’ll be dissolved; when you will dissolve your mind, dissolve your senses, then you will get to the source. So the source is indescribable. Because it is indescribable, therefore it is not thinkable, it is not speakable, it is not analyzable. It is not examined. It is not 'experimentable'. But, how is it that when the source water is an iceberg, the iceberg does not know its existence? The iceberg knows its existence, that I am this. If I am a frozen body, it does not mean I’m not That. But when I am a frozen body, an iceberg, I do not know the beauty of the running water. So, that which is mind has become a frozen form—of what? Of that which is sookshmati sookshma, subtler than the subtlest. The mind became a form of that which is subtler than the subtlest. Subtler than the subtlest means, subtler than the aakaash, the space, and that is still subtler than the subtlest. It is so super-fine that if you bring in any kind of description, a human being will understand that.
So it is there. Now, it is there, but we have no sense, no form, no instrument in the body [with which to understand it]. We have only ego, intellect, and mind. We don’t have anything other than that. Guru knows, because he has come to know that you are only That, and not these three things. So your difficulty, as a human being, is that you know that these three things are. But the source is there, from where the ego, mind, and intellect are taking their knowledge, and becoming this ego, a sense that should divide. It should work, because the same subtler reality is there. But it has been observed by a human being that he has ego. This much I feel, that I have "I" and I have mind. We contemplate, we have sankalp/vikalp, we have thought and no thought, we have vrittis and the dismantling of vrittis. So mind is there. And the power of decision, of sense, of intellect is there, with which we say things are good or bad. Lester has just quoted Rumi saying, " I meet you where right and wrong is not." Right and wrong is the decision of the intellect, so where I meet you is where the intellect is not. Where I meet you is where mind is not. Where I meet you is where this I, which is saying I am good, or you are bad, is not there. I meet you as I. That is our space, and that you daily know and experience.
Talking about the dish is one thing, and eating it is another thing. This is practical, and this practical instrument is not there with you, or with me. I am using the same instruments as you have, and you cannot say that I do not have those instruments. But with the refinement of the instruments, the ego, intellect, and mind, it so happens, as Alexi said, "that you lead us over there, where we want to reach, and you put us there—through meditation we come to know it." So that which is indescribable is there in meditation. I’m quiet, because you will check, during this period, that in meditation there is nothing. If you make a word for your mind, in meditation, it will be agyan, or illusion, or imagination. Then again, you do not succeed in meditation in knowing That. So gyan will become agyan. We already have enough agyan, so agyan we have not to do.
Therefore, in meditation, people have said so many things: thoughts are coming, concentrate, bring your thoughts on God, bring them on this or that, put your attention over there—no! There remains only that which cannot be described, which means attention. Attention and knowledge—which cannot be described. It is not being described, yet you are knowing it. That’s what I can do. That’s what you can also do. You say, "I don’t mind, Swamiji or Guruji, description or no description—I’m not here for that. You just let me know what I am." And when I put you where You are, you are happy. And when your mind comes, and it comes because of your practice…throughout you are Dikpal, you are Alka, you are Dan, you are a son, you are this, you are that, you studied this, you are this class, these degrees and all those things in Bhakti Nath’s kindergarten reports which were sitting there in the cupboard! Watch. He’s such a big person that if you pile up all those things, Prayma will not be able to lift them; they will be so heavy. And there, they are only on paper, but what about your mind? That became a heavy reality. So whenever mind comes, you feel heavy. It’s not a headache, but you still feel heavy. Whenever the mind comes, you feel doubtful and have questions. And the mind comes when you begin to think that I am this.
So now, this is again indescribable. How did you come to know that I am this? Only because my mommy said so, or my daddy said, or people said that I am this. And then you say, "Swamiji, you let me know how you describe it?" I say, "Well, you are the same as me." And because you have made this idea, "the same as me," the language does not fit in well. Therefore, my language should always be different. When you come over here, and you want to hear things in your language, in your style of words and meaning, you will remain just there. If I have no language that contradicts your procedure, your process of learning and concluding, then you will not be able to reach there, which is indescribable. So I never mind, whether I speak your language or do not speak your language, but I have understood what you need. You need to finish that which is called an unfit, imperfect state of consciousness, which is the mind. Now, if you say I want to improve it, it means the imperfect state of mind should die. That’s the meaning. So you really want to finish it—finish means end and end means death—you want to finish that with which you have worked, up to this time, because it has made you only this.
If you have the enlightened state, it will all change. So you want the enlightened state. But the enlightened state, according to me, comes only when mind is dissolved, which you know and have heard, "please purify your mind, please purify your ideas, please purify your sickness, please purify your relations," and all that. So, it can happen. It has happened; to many it has happened. Therefore I also am sure that it can happen. I daily see that during these 35 years, it has already happened. I have not given the number or the figures or the forms because it’s not necessary—if it has happened, you know it yourself. I’ve not to speak about it. So, this indescribable is that which is not contradictable, yet it cannot be described. This means that you exist. I’ve not said good existence or bad existence. You exist. I’m giving the name "existence," you exist—so you, existence. Now they became two words and are synonymous. Either you say "existence" or say "you." But if I use the word you, you’ll be this (body). … That is how I can use the words, because there are no other words in English. …
So I say, indescribable. Every human being wants to have the description of that which is indescribable. What an impossible desire he has. But I say you can have it. Why? Provided you work for shum, ukshum, which means your thinking should subside. You can say, "Yeah, I’ll do it." So then you think more about removing your thinking! It did not work. I’m saying shum and then I’m saying dum. Then you start controlling the senses. I’ll not describe all those words, I’ll bring in only a few words. Shum, ukshum, which means your previous type of mind that is in the process of concluding should change, and it should be this: santosh, shum santosh. Santosh is sum-tosh. Santosh means that your possessive mentality should be turning into contentment. Sumtosh. It means …in that duality, the sum (evenness) should be included and then oneness should come. Oneness should come in shum, and oneness should come in santosh, and only then will it happen.
And then scriptures: scriptures are saying you are Self, and you are saying I’m mind. You are reading scriptures that are meant to let you know you are God, or you are Self, you are indivisible, but you say, "No, I’m mind." And mind you have not analyzed. Therefore, mostly, for 35 years we have done the work only in the field of mind, but with the help of no mind, so I can stay with you. Otherwise, if mind is there, we’ll be agitated and worried, saying it’s all nonsense, and we don’t want to be in that. But the one who is in that realm which is beyond the pairs of opposites, that is the Self. If you reach that, then you have reached the indescribable Guru Self, Sat Guru, scriptures and Guru… then your mind and thinking process, which has been thinking about things and forms should start thinking about your Self. That is shum. Santosh—you are thinking all the time about possessing this, possessing that, all the time possessing—keep possessing things, but always think and know about your Self. And you read scriptures; continue reading your scriptures but continue knowing that you are reading and understanding scriptures with the mind, and this is the same mind that is dualistic and gets the meaning of duality. … Then again you’ll reach the Self.
And when Guru says, "You are pure, free, forever, You," it is that same Self. So in this way, so much is said. … I say fire and flakes. You say fire and flakes are two things. I say that fire and flakes are one, which means fire. You should take fire, not the flakes! But you say fire is there and flakes are there. Then I say water and snow flakes. You say water is there and snow flakes are there. Whereas, you will be rewarded if you take one part or one half of what Guru says. If you are accustomed to have two meanings, then you are in duality and you cannot have oneness. So when I say you are that who is not a body, you say, "Well, how will that be possible?" Then I say, "Why is it that your body is there in the dream, but when you are enlightened you say the body was not there." When I hear this, I come to know that you will also be able to know this, when you will be enlightened: that this body is also as good as, or like the dream body. I enjoy the dream and I suffer in the dream; so let me enjoy my dream figures in the waking state, and suffer in the waking state—but I am enlightened. And that became the description. Thank you. Amaram Hum Madhuram Hum.
October 13, 2004
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